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   Eighth Encounter  
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Dr. Maly Danino - presents
 Eighth Encounter - Preparing for The Gym     


  Opening and Correlation with the Previous Encounter  


In each encounter with the parent in training we will connect to the here and now. The parent arrives after a week in which things happen in his life. He can have new insights on the process he undergoes that he would like to share. May be there was a significant event he would like to share before we begin the encounter?

The coach will summarize the significant issues that came up at the last encounter.  There may be a need to revisit an issue that came up in the previous encounter and continue to explore it in-depth.

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  The Rational of The Gym  


Initially, explain to the parent-in-training the rationale that guides the workout in The Gym. The process is circular:  It starts with planning, continues with execution and is completed by doing an assessment.

The training purpose is to improve from one mission to the next, and to create a learning curve with which the parent’s progress is measured as he progresses from mission to mission on the basis of the empowerment model, values and the future picture he had described.

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  Examination of the Home Mission  

At the start of this  encounter, the coach and parent should analyze the chosen mission, and then plan it together in minute detail. The aim is to enable the parent a reflective process where he will examine the training mission, its clarity, its focus on his and the child’s needs and strengths, and to ascertain the degree to which the mission is a direct outcome of the future picture of his child,     the empowerment model and the values the parent desires to instill in his child.

It is the coach’s role to query the parent in such a way so as to insure that the mission does fit the parent-in-training and his child.

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  Mission Planning Expansion & Going Deeper   

We will assist the parent-in-training to implement what he has learned to date.  We will take the advantage to deepen and widen the training in those areas where he has encountered difficulties –for example:  to what extent did he underscore his child’s participation in the mission? We, therefore, will ask the parent-in training the following questions:

How does this particular plan differ from the way you have acted previously?

What are your insights from the training process?

In what specific situations did you encounter difficulties?

Was it problematic for you to define the mission?  Please be specific as to why.

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  Empowering the Parent-in-Training and His Preparation for Performance of the Mission  

We will revisit previous encounters that have dealt with his strengths and weaknesses and import from their strengths, from other areas of his life and past success experiences. 

  Redefinition of the Chosen Mission 

After the process of going over the mission analysis with the parent-in –training, it is possible that certain aspects of the mission planning will be altered.  Thus we  should go back to the mission construction form and fill it out again, before going on to the mission

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  The Home Mission:  

Enlisting the child for performance of the mission

Mission performance and its documentation

Ascertaining the child's satisfaction


After planning the initial mission the parent-in-training should bring the child into the process of its performance.  It is possible that, as it is routed through the child’s perception, it will undergo some change.  The idea is the formation of a dialogue with the child in such a way that the mission will be challenging for the child as well as the parent.  We will make it clear to the parent that following the discussion with his child, he is expected to commence execution of the mission. 


We will ask the parent to document al that transpired in that process and then answer the following question:


Describe the mission and how you have just performed.

Who did you choose to participate in the mission?

Who assisted you?

How did the mission help with the manifestation of the future picture?

To what degree did the mission match the strengths of your child?

To what degree did mission take into consideration your child’s weaknesses?

How did the mission connect with values you desire to instill in your child?

To what degree did the mission match your strengths as a parent?

What is your opinion about the manner in which you have acted?


We will ask the parent to ascertain what his child experienced as the mission was carried out.  We will offer him several questions he can use in that process.

Did you enjoy doing what we did today?

What did you enjoy? What did you like in particular?

What did you find less appealing?

If we were to do this mission again, what would you like to repeat and what would you have changed?

  Summing up the Encounter   

During the last few minutes of the encounter the parent-in-training will answer the following:

What are your insights as a result of the encounter?

Did anything strike you as particularly significant during the encounter?

Is there any specific question you think I should have asked but didn’t?

Is there anything you would have done differently?

Is there anything at all that you’d like to add?

Eighth Encounter

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  Video text - Eighth Encounter   

This chapter prepares the parent for the stage of action (we call the "gym"), which takes place after the parent is aware of his feelings, develops new insights about himself and his child through the process that he has undergone so far, and is prepared to act differently than he did in the past.

The goal is to allow the parent a reflective process in which he can examine the purpose of the exercise, on the one hand, its clarity and its focus on the child's needs, and on the other hand, his strengths.

We will explain to the parent the rationale of the "gym," which begins with task planning, in accordance with the strength model, values, picture of the future, and performing the task at the motivation and pleasure level, through dialogue and sharing with the child.

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