Opening and Correlation with the Previous Encounter
In each encounter with the parent in training we will connect to the here and now. The parent arrives after a week in which things happen in his life. He can have new insights on the process he undergoes that he would like to share. May be there was a significant event he would like to share before we begin the encounter?
The coach will summarize the significant issues that came up at the last encounter. There may be a need to revisit an issue that came up in the previous encounter and continue to explore it in-depth.
Examination of the home mission
At the conclusion of the previous encounter the parent was asked to bring additional examples of various situations taking place during the week in his interactions with his child. We will analyze these examples with the parent, focusing on the different aspects of the empowerment model.
Next, we will examine which values of the parent-in-training and the child were manifested during these interactions.
Review of the milestones of the training process
At this point the coach should describe to the parent-in-training the training process he underwent, to date. This encounter presents an opportunity for both the coach and the parent-in-training to assess the progress the parent has made during the previous six encounters, using the future picture he sees now.
Describing a second future picture of the child
We will ask the parent-in- training:
How do you envision your child in the future? Describe this picture for me.
We will repeat the instructions provided during the second encounter, We then will ask:
What do you see in that picture?
We will use leading questions and ask him to describe a picture, not to tell a story.
Adding the values dimension and the empowerment model to the picture
The coach may say: Please describe for me what you see in the picture.
This time we will also add to the mix the values dimension and the empowerment model, and ask him:
What strengths does your child have?
What are his values?
What kind of human being is he growing up to be?
Revisiting the future picture from the second encounter
We will ask the parent-in-training whether he remembers the future picture he had described during the second encounter. We will ask him to repeat that description.
We will read, again, the description of that future picture, and remind ourselves what was said and the language used by the parent.
If he does not remember the picture he depicted, we will remind him of his statements, but only after he has completed describing the current future picture.
Comparison between the two future pictures
We will ask the parent-in-training:
In what way does the future picture your see today differ from the one you saw during the second encounter?
In the picture, what has changed as far as your child is concerned?
If you were to give this change a name, what would you call it?
More questions in the manual.
Delineating the changes that occurred in both the parent and the child
Analyzing the gap between the two pictures allows the coach to see the change that has occurred with the parent-in-training, to observe the extent of the shift in his experience. The comparison allows the parent to enhance his ability to conduct inner dialogue taking him beyond the “here and now” mode of awareness, to one allowing him a vision of a future picture.
Choosing a mission that brings the parent closer to the future picture
We will ask the parent-in-training to go back to different situation he had with his child out of the examples he brought up during the previous encounters. We will then ask him to choose one mission – a particular situation where he experiences difficulties with his child. This mission should advance him to the place where he wants to take his child in order to serve the future picture he had described during the last encounter.
It is important to insure that the mission is tied with the current picture.
The home mission: Mission construction
Clarifying and elucidating the training mission before departing for The Gym
Choosing the mission, its planning and assessment are of the utmost importance and these should be engaged in before its execution in the field. The coach will ask him, at the training room, to stop, think, analyze and assess his actions.
It is imperative that the training mission be measurable. A mission that cannot be measured is not a valid training mission, for the parent won’t be able to ascertain the progress he is making. The parent will be asked to answer the following:
Please provide a description of the mission you have opted to perform.
How do you intend to act?
How does the chosen mission serve the future picture?
Who would you have to participate in bringing the mission into effect?
Who could assist you in performing the mission?
It is essential that the parent reach a high degree of clarity and lucidity in regard to the goal, before going on to The Gym. He shall arrive there when he has become aware of his own hurdles as well as the opportunity coming his way for effective coping.
Summing up the encounter
During the last few minutes of the encounter the parent-in-training will answer the following:
What are your insights as a result of the encounter?
Did anything strike you as particularly significant during the encounter?
Is there any specific question you think I should have asked but didn’t?
Is there anything you would have done differently?
Is there anything at all that you’d like to add?
Video text - Seventh Encounter
Chapter 7 is a chapter in which we pause to assess the progress that has taken place since our first encounter with the parent.
Remember the picture of the future from the second chapter? We will once again guide the parent so that he can re-visualize his child's future picture. Let us examine how different this picture is from the first picture that was predicted.
It is possible that the picture has changed and now the parent is able to see his child at another point in the future. Small details may have been added to an image that were not present in the past; and the picture may have remained the same, but this time the parent is certain of what he sees.
Ask the parent:
What needs to be done today to get there?