Opening and Correlation with the Previous Encounter
In each encounter with the parent in training we will connect to the here and now. The parent arrives after a week in which things happen in his life. He can have new insights on the process he undergoes that he would like to share. May be there was a significant event he would like to share before we begin the encounter?
The coach will summarize the significant issues that came up at the last encounter. There may be a need to revisit an issue that came up in the previous encounter and continue to explore it in-depth.
Explanation of the Empowerment Model & its Importance
The empowerment model used in the training process is based on a model from the business world, known as the SWOT Model, which is designed to examine the corporate strengths and weaknesses as compared to business rivals and competitors, and to assess opportunities and peril lurking in the corporate environment.
Utilization of the empowerment model during the training process allows the parent-in-training to identify his strengths, his fears and perceived threats as well as opportunities that, at present, go unnoticed.
Mapping the Parent-In-Training’s Strengths with Stories of Success
In order to map strengths in the empowerment model, we will ask the parent-in-training.
Try to recall an event you experienced as a success in your life: Something either from your work, school, or some other area.
After we have heard his story, we will ask:
What strengths came into play in this story?
Mapping Weaknesses, Fears and Threats with Stories of Lack of Success
In order to map weaknesses, fears and threats we will ask the parent-in-training:
Try and remember an event you’ve experienced during your life as one of failure; either something from your work, school or some other area.
After we have heard his story, we will ask:
What weaknesses came into play in this story? What were the fear and threats you’ve experienced?
Explanation: Weaknesses as Strengths & Strengths as Weaknesses
We will explain to the parent-in-training that sometimes a weakness is strength and vice versa. There are neither positive nor negative aspects. Likewise, fears and threats could serve as opportunities to expand our coping ability and transform a difficulty into a challenge.
We will ask the parent-in-training:
During our encounters you’ve described numerous difficulties; however, many times we learn that opportunities can emerge out of crisis and struggle. Do you identify an opportunity affecting your life? Affecting you personally? What out of this process could constitute an opportunity for you?
Examining Insights Found in the Empowerment Model
The idea is to mobilize abilities and means: those that have effectively served the parent in the past, which could lead to a positive change in this relationship with his child, and to an improvement in his present function as a parent.
Mapping the Empowerment Model of the Child by the Parent-in-Training
We will ask the parent-in-training to fill up all four aspects of the empowerment model for his child. Remember, the use of the model in an opportunity for the parent to become aware of his child’s strength/weaknesses/fears/threats and, concurrently, to understand where he ends and where his child begins, to aid his ability to distinguish between what is his child’s and what is his.
The Home Mission:
In the first part of the home mission we will ask the parent-in-training to conduct, during the intervening week, a dialogue with his child and ascertain how the child sees himself in relation to the four aspects of the empowerment model.
We recommend asking the child to tell a success story, in order to encourage and support his spirit.
He will be asked to compare the child’s empowerment model from the parent’s viewpoint with the empowerment model he had produced from his child’s success story during the dialogue between them.
Summing up the Encounter
During the last few minutes of the encounter the parent-in-training will answer the following:
What are your insights as a result of the encounter?
Did anything strike you as particularly significant during the encounter?
Is there any specific question you think I should have asked but didn’t?
Is there anything you would have done differently?
Is there anything at all that you’d like to add?
Video text - Fifth Encounter
In Chapter 5 we return to focus on the parent. The goal is to empower the parent, strengthen him, and restore him with positive energies that will help him in the training process.
The parent learns from his successful life stories, about his abilities, talents, strengths and his weaknesses, fears, and the threatening experiences in his life. He learns that sometimes the strengths in one place will be a weakness elsewhere and vice versa. He learns how his strengths and weaknesses correspond to his child, where they serve him in terms of his connection with the child and where the same strengths and weaknesses affect their relationship with each other.
The parent finds that the difficulty in coping with his child is a special opportunity to undergo change in other areas of life such as work, relationships, family, and friendships.